Science Fiction Comedy Story: Black Nazi

Publicerat den av Theo Gerken

Science Fiction

I spent the year 2016 writing science fiction stories. Although I showed a level of talent, the enthusiasm died out – and I moved on to other things.

But I did finish these two stories:

  1. Barbie and Ken Discover Hell (science fiction story)
  2. The Man Who Pistol-Whipped God (science fiction comedy)

I have uploaded them to my Substack – and my Medium.

Here you have all my Substack articles.

Here you have all my Medium articles.


Movie Writing

I also began studying movie writing. And although I wasn’t bad at it, I did not have the motivation to sit down and finish an entire script.

This process takes hundreds of hours.

This is how the story “BLACK NAZI” – came to be! I wrote a “synopsis” – which is a basic story description.

This story was inspired by the science fiction comedy “Iron Sky”.

It is very difficult to combine:

  • Science Fiction
  • Comedy

–and that is why there are so few movies in that genre. 

There are even fewer books!

In movie writing, you have a:

  1. Title (title of the movie)
  2. Logline (a one-sentence description of the movie)
  3. Synopsis (a description of the story)

Here we go!

TITLE

Black Nazi

LOGLINE

The most stereotypical African-American man in history must overcome Nazi persecution and escape Mars with Hitler’s most sacred Aryan women.

SYNOPSIS

When the black man BLACK BLACKSON – the personal embodiment of every racist trope in history – crashes into a coal mine on Mars, he is regarded by the native Nazis as just another soot-covered ignorant foreigner.

They send him into a re-education camp, and he takes to it like a duck to water. He starts to think he is white, and that maybe they were right all along. Loyal to the cause, he starts climbing the Nazi ladder.

When they discover that behind his soot-covered face, is an even better blackface, they think he is playing 5000-D chess with them – and promote him to minister of Nazi propaganda.

From that position of power, Mr. Black gets comfortable and starts to impose his deeply racist genetically determined urges onto the entire nation.

He shows them how to fry chicken in watermelon-flavored Kool-Aid. How to fuck instead of doing yoga. How to get a heart attack instead of dying from old age.

But when he sinks like a stone during a live swimming demonstration, they know he is black for real.

Mr. Black goes on the run, but he still thinks of himself as white. He runs in slow-motion, keeps talking about the weather, and eats raw kale with a dangerous amount of enthusiasm.

He will stop to hump random street lights – because they got no ass. He develops a deep and very primal yearning for an office job. Though ironically, as he runs past the IRS office, he gains superhuman speed.

But he does not get superpowers when running from the police, so he is caught and thrown into Jewcatraz, a concentration camp built for one Jew.

They throw everything and the kitchen sink on him, but cannot break him, because his genes are perfectly adapted for being in prison for a crime you did not commit.

They try break him physically, but he just gets more ripped. They try break him mentally, but he cannot get depressed. 

When the Nazis decide to start treating him well, his white identity takes over, and he starts to cut himself in a sad cry for help. They escalate the situation with fresh cinnamon buns and raw milk, and half an hour later he’s on the floor writhing in pain.

A potent combination of OCD, self-pity, and anorexia. Fast forward to the vanilla bean truffles and he’s on suicide attempt number three.

Hitler’s wife take pity on Mr. Black, and decide to give him a good last meal. She smuggles in some Orange drink, hot wings, and crack. She fires him up with a lapdance, and deepthroats the leg of a chair – just to show off.

With a surge of energy, he throws her over the shoulder, breaks out of jail, rounds up Hitler’s mother, daughter, and sister – and launches them all into space for a 4-on-1 happily ever after.